I never
really learned
to swim
to ebb and flow
with confidence
in the deeper water
that couldn’t decide
which way to flow
and so I strapped on
plastic wings
and belly rings
trying to find a space
where boisterous laughter
and rigorous splashing
couldn’t float
upon me
on the surface
I would smile
a white facade
of cloudy calm
while all the while
my treading feet
were kicking,
kicking up
a storm.