Tag Archive | sleep

Early Riser

Thousands
of mornings
have started the same
where you sleep warm
and yet
I rise
the quiet day
nudging me
with gentle thoughts
forcefully pulling
my covers off
and yet
I don’t feel
like rhyming today
where rules
must count
and lines
be broken
so the naked
truth
must spill
or spray
or drip
and dry
until my secret’s
clean
and the mist
of it
forms in the steam
and yet again
I trace
my heart
on the mirror
cold
while in your dreams
you must decide
if you’ll wake
in time
to see.

Morning Has Broken

I tried
this and that
to elude
the sleep
I knew
must come
but distractions
fell
one lash
by lash
until the dreaded
dark
the sinister
softness
of my pillow
with its
gentle-nodding
eyelid-pulling
beguiling
cotton guise
taunted me
with memories
I couldn’t
know
hours of dreams
I couldn’t
live
till sunlight
shutter crashed
my fluttered lashes
my tossing
and turning
on the light
may have saved me
once again

4/1/2015 – Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – Dreamweaver

Poetic Asides – Day 1 – Resistance Poem 2

Dreamweaver

Sleep begins
to seduce me
with the quiet promise
that I might hide
within the darkened warps
between the stars.

But self-induced
insomnia
is as necessary
as the tense shuttle
of my arm
blocking the murky
shadows
of my fears.

For there is no rest
in flying,
in running
within the twisted,
warping mazes
where distorted images
are thrown across
my dreams.

I tangle every
sheet and doubt
till only morning
covers me,
and what I thought
I knew
unravels
in the light.

6/03/2012 – Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – Only a Sigh

Only a Sigh

The dark summer night
hid their desire
till the stars came out
and kissed their skin.

Her breath came slowly
only a sigh
but he inhaled it
till it filled his soul.

The rhythm of the night
lulled her to sleep
and he blew out the stars
with only a sigh.

8/14/2011 – Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – When Clouds Fail

(Inspiration from: Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella – My Own Little Corner)

When Clouds Fail

On the wings of my fancy
I can fly anywhere
and the world will
open its arms to me.

In my dreams I am floating
though the gossamer clouds
and the bird’s wings
flutter against my own.

My gauzy ribbons flowing
have braided as I twirl
and I cry out
frightened as I fall down.

‘Cause failing clouds can’t hold me
as I tumble to earth
and the bird’s squawks
keep ringing within my ear.

I’m hoping you will catch me
if I die in my sleep.
Will you hold me
more tenderly than soft clouds?

5/16/10 Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – Poetry at Bedtime

Cat

Poetry at Bedtime

A hundred and one things
compile today;
my back yields to the weight
of all of them.

Yet, my cat must be hugged.

My fingers deep,
press her close
till my breath slows
to her softening purrs.

Yet, my poem must be written
before I sleep.

Digging deep
I try to leave my mark
as blood is seeping
from her scratch on my thigh.

11/04/09 Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – Stability of a Three Cornered Stool

Stability of a Three Cornered Stool

Her mother told her
it will better in the morning.

Go to sleep, little one.

Comforted, she sleeps.

Morning was not sunnier,
her pain spilling awake
with runny eggs.

He had his fill
of both women,
wife and mother-in law,
cornering him
again.

Go to hell, both of you!

Washing his hands of the matter
he left her to sop up
with a triangle of dry toast.

Vindicated, he walks.

10/23/09 Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections – Like Nobody’s Business – I Have Used Up My Allotment of Pixie Dust

Like Nobody’s Business

She could blame the caffeine
or the thousand and one
details and unmade decisions
that follow her
home from work
waking her up
at 3:07 to throw off
covers and expectations
of a good night’s sleep,
but she doesn’t.

She just stumbles
to the bathroom,
closing her eyes again
to the glare of the light,
only a sliver
squeezing through
while cupping her hands
trying to sip enough
to swallow an aspirin.

She lay back down,
dreams beginning
to slide again
into distorted cubicles
and his accusation
that work
is
her life.

When the alarm finally rings,
its sharpness
reawakens that throbbing headache,
and she finds only a dribble
of relief
rolling onto the coolness
of his side of the sheet.

She could blame him
for her pain
and her thirst,

but she doesn’t,

faulting only her skillful fingers,

unable to catch water

or men.

I Have Used Up My Allotment of Pixie Dust

Talking frogs
and levitating children
danced with mushrooms
in my imagination.

Fanciful sojourns
to mystical places
could hold me
spell bound
for hours at a time.

Then I grew
too busy for books,
my hands caught up
in other tasks.

Untethered,
I have flown
into the place
where exertion
and exhaustion
collide.

If a floating lady
with a sparkling wand
wants to make me
sleep for a thousand years,

then let her.

7/07/09 Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections


The Shadorma is a syllabic poem. It has six lines – (a sextet) with a syllable pattern: 3/5/3/3/7/5

Shadorma Thief

My eyes closed
I slept beside you,
holding you,
loving you,
and waking today, you’re gone.
Someone stole my dreams.

Flight of the Challenger

“Clean your room already!”
she said for the thousandth time.

But six years said I deserved better
so I loaded my Radio Flyer with licorice and toys
and headed down the sidewalk.

The block was long but I was determined
to leave my chores behind.

Running away from everything
is a luxury that only children can afford
with a twenty-five cent allowance.

And I would have gotten all the way to Michigan
if only I had been allowed to cross the street.

Cinderella Daydreams

It was a lazy summer day
with nothing to inspire a child
until Mom took me to the garden
and picked the hollyhocks.

With only her knowing fingers
she pinched off the opened flowers
and handed me the tiny buds
before going back inside.

I couldn’t see her vision
until flowers were flipped like skirts
and green removed from buds
left tiny eyes and upswept hair.

We filled a dish with water
and the flowers were transformed
into floating floral ladies
and imagination danced away.


A Harmony of One

There is no more our song
just pieces of love gone wrong.

Yet the broken glass of the disco ball
keeps on spinning its dancing light.

From ceiling to floor dappling shadows
transform my imperfections.

In time I’ll move from dark to light
wherever the music takes me.

But now all I want to do is dance
and learn the tune of my song.

Co-Existing

Some days I kneel to the order of things
watering flowers and pulling weeds,
but deep furrows grow in my brow
and confusion chokes my life from me.

For if God is in the flowers
and the Devil’s in the weeds,
then where am I in the garden
when I can’t tell them apart?

6/21/09 Patricia A. Hawkenson’s Reflections

Latte Grande

She begins quite simply
sipping her latte
turning back the cover
of the two dollar tabloid
revealing sadness unfolding
in the celebrity world.

It begins quite simply
the story it tells her
of love that was star studded true,
but it somehow goes wrong,
the fame blinding their eyes
to the reality life is to us all.

She simply states that her
dark eyes and recreated bust
are coldly divorcing
the handsome movie star stud
whom the rest of the country
is just wishing were coming
for comfort and cuddling arms.

Each page simply tells a reminder
that no matter your glamour,
your cosmopolitan flare,
or your houses, your boats,
no matter your Pepsodent smile,
things come to an end
as the pages are turned
as all delicious stories do.

Then quiet simply
the empty paper cup,
along with the couple,
is casually tossed in the trash.

Pre-teen Prophecy

Paper folds into triangle
upon triangle
that opens the flaps to tell
whether she likes someone
or that someone likes her
or if her favorite color is blue.

And after the ceremony
a slice of cake is kept
in a tiny cardboard box
under her pillow
in hopes of luring
a husband of her own.

While holding a string dangling
a sewing needle
is stuck in the end
of the pencil’s eraser
over her wrist
to circle or tell the angle
that indicates the birth
of a future boy or a girl.

When battling the cosmos
with the weapons on hand,
a girl’s got to do
what a girl’s got to do.

Row 3 Seat G

Row 3 Seat G
occupies a sleeper
exhausted or bored
with his travels.

His right black tennis shoe
is in the aisle
the other bent up
while his knee wedges
into the seat in front.

People passing by
on their way to the restroom
brush ticklish
the hairs on his leg.

With his eyes still shut
he reaches one hand down
to scratch while the other
hugs a pillow
he brought from home.

Another passenger
has bumped his leg
and annoyed,
he shifts to a new position.

The arm of his chair
digs into his side
and he rolls again
into his original pose.

Row 3 Seat G
occupies a sleeper.

Shhh….

Dating

Dilemma

disingenuous
daisies

dangerous
dark
debonair
dude

deliberately
deceived

dainty
demure
dateless
dame

desperation
denial

dab
damp
drop
discard

damn
debris

dense
depression
deduce
decanter

diary
diarrhea

Ex-Ray Eyes

If superman could set his eyes
on the baggage aboard this plane
he would start with the tapestry bag
of a woman reading the celebrity page.

While she reads of glamour
and fast lane lives,
her belonging reveal her story:

Lipstick and mascara,
a white lace slip and jewelry,
shoes and perfumed sachet,
all fitting someone who likes
glamour and glitz.

But then dig deeper
and read from a different page:

A styrofoam container
with bread and some butter
the frugal remains
of today’s meal
with tiny soap and shampoo
saved for her daughter.

It is the appropriate bag
of the two sided woman
with her head in the clouds
and her feet on the ground.


First Flight

Exit opens, rotate handle
mechanical robots
point the way
to yellow raft slides
and one foot safe
on the ground.
I pray.

Sitting beside
the terminal
seasoned traveler
contentedly sipping juice
while lost in the space
of a good book.
I pray.

I in my tenseness
travel alone
watching the stewardess
for signs of nervousness
and rereading pamphlets
of airplane schematics.
I pray.


Mid-air Antics

The aircraft continues
its endless headache hum
crowding out the chatter
of seated strangers
forced to fill four hours
of the cramped quartered quest
to the other side of the country.

And I bypass the juice
when offered to me
as I know the limitations
of the airplane lavatory
closet like claustrophobia
awaits with Barbie doll fixtures
and warning sign decorations.

The baby starts fussing
and mother shushing
the passengers turn their heads
to headphones or windows
and angry stares
when the solitude of lavatory
is now inviting,

but I’ve had no juice.

Sizing It Up

I’m five feet two
and smaller than most
yet my arms touch
the rests side to side,
but my foot sticks out
and must be pulled in
when the passengers pass
in the one foot aisle.

Breakfast arrives on a tray
no more than eight by ten
enclosing in plastic wrap
with fried potato cubes,
greasy sausage links,
a round biscuit formation,
and meat flavored
with a hint of ham
that spilled with an ooze
I’m trusting to be cheese.

Saving the sweet roll
to redeem the rest,
my stomach is fooled
and breakfast is measured
at ten thousand feet.

Preflight Checklist

San Francisco Flight 37 left at 7:30 a.m.
with a miss-sortment of passengers
and disinterest in the stewardess’s eyes.

She flashed her professional smile
when the cue light went on
and welcomed all aboard.

Even you –
young inexperienced mother
with your screaming child.

Even you –
three fifty-something ladies
complaining already of leg room.

Even you –
with your crosswords and books
to absently fill your time on board.

Even you –
pillow takers from home
not content with a pocket sized one.

Even you –
with your nervous first flight eyes
scanning exits and floatation devices.

Even you –
chatty Kathy who must know
everyone’s name on board.

Even you –
giggly eight year old traveling alone
with your Barbies and markers staining.

Even you –
snoring already even though
we have not left the ground.

Please buckle your seatbelts.
We expect another uneventful flight.

The miss-sortment of passengers
didn’t even bother to look in her eyes
and Flight 37 took off to the skies.

Burning Love

When they were little
mean boys burnt ants
with a magnifying glass
while horrified girls screamed
and tattled to their moms.

Later the boys grew up
to challenge their manhood
with only a dollar
while swinging a hammer
and ringing a bell.

The years have tarnished
their cotton stuffed prizes
and ex-girlfriends
with spring-cleaning fever
can’t burn them fast enough.

Dr. Livingston, I Presume?

Dense and overgrown
inaccessible
entangled and formidable
a thicket of an amalgamation
that must be brandished
with sharpness,
the jungle of your mind is impenetrable.

What does it take to get through to you?


History Repeats

When Nathaniel loved Katherine
their initials were carved
with a pocket knife
into a tree
to last forever.

Now Nate loved Kate
with their eternal love
posted on Facebook
until a keystroke
erased it in a second.

Suck It Up

She was crying softly
hiding her face
behind her bangs.

So her mother tied a red curly ribbon
holding a mylar balloon
onto her wrist.

In the metallic reflection
she saw the distorted image
of herself.

And even at seven
she knew enough
to let it go.

But not before
she inhaled the helium
and laughed like a demented squirrel.

When the Stove is Cold

There are one hundred and nine
crumbling edged
faded pages
each with a recipe
she wrote in cursive
all tied with a maroon ribbon.

The recipes intrigued me with
long ago provocative titles:
shrimp wiggle,
snowball pudding,
floating island,
and sea foam.

Fried frog legs
or salmon croquettes
were served with oyster fritters
and desert might boast
a lemon sunshine cake.

With forgotten knowledge
of how to measure temperature
with the correct size
of wood to burn,
her stove created history.

I could imagine it took forever
for her to write down
the ingredients and directions
for how to recreate
her Norwegian home.

But at the flea market
I only paid five dollars
for this woman’s life.