I Am Reopening Applications For My New BFF

I won’t bore you with the details of how the opening occurred,
suffice-it-to-say, that was one whacked-up individual
who made it an absolutely necessity to ditch her at the mall.

So, perhaps I should tell you of the caliber of my other friends,
all interesting people with the unique ability to enjoy life,
and for whom it will soon be your pleasure to work with.

There’s Kyle, who periodically sends postcards from interesting places,
like the last one taken while plummeting from 10,000 ft,
although I will have to admit, I haven’t heard from in awhile.

Then Leanne, who has been known to wear a tiara to work
while carrying a sparkling wand that seems to have no magical power,
but you have to give her credit, she just keeps on sparkling.

Gina still holds her special place in my organization,
the only one who has been known to create a tent over her cubicle
and invite us inside to drink lemonade with curly twisty straws.

Wendy, top procrastinator for the month of September,
is willing to give up her privileged parking space by the hydrant
if you are willing to come on board and help her clean the litter box.

Tony, on emergency leave from repeated attempts to butter up the boss,
wanted me to remind everyone that his position is not negotiable,
as he expects to return to work as soon as his stitches heal.

But you need to know that I was thinking of connecting with that guy
who makes those photo-op restaurant statues of giant resin chickens,
so you’d better get your application in early, if you want to be considered.